Notes
Knowledge, concepts, and frameworks
The Void Between the Stars
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Finding the Way
I read something recently that stopped me cold: "The life you're living now would have saved the version of you that was drowning."
Ancestors
It's evening time here in the valley. The collective buses are filling up with families - kids, parents, grandparents - heading into town. Not because they need anything. Not because there's an event or obligation. They're going to the plaza, to the streets, to meander through li
What is Purpose?
Embodying Purpose Instead of Finding It
Letter from Terminal M (Part 3)
A year and a half ago, I wrote to you from this same terminal. Terminal M at Vancouver International Airport. You can read that letter Letter from Terminal M (Part 2). It was my second time writing from this departure gate in four years, and somehow, it's become a ritual. A rite
Captured in Your Rapture
It's Saturday morning. Rain hammers my window on the wet coast. Wind tears through the trees. A bald eagle hovers outside, suspended in the storm, completely still in the chaos.
The Impending Collapse
We're in the final stage before collapse. And it's not what you think.
Healing is Integration
It's [Tuesday morning](canary:event?ts=779126405.00). I'm sitting across from David, a successful architect who hasn't cried in fifteen years.
Your Healing Belongs to You
_Sacred Valley, Peru - In the middle of the night some day in July 2022_
Abandonment
By now, I've shared enough about love, about loss, about grief. I've shared my own experience of discovering love, or discovering heartbreak. My Love and Separation was about my divorce, and I got into social media about 3 years ago because of the separation that I was going thr
An Invitation
I wrote this at 4 AM this morning. I couldn't sleep. There's this energy moving through me - part terror, part excitement - as I finalize the details for Peru.
Burning Man
I’m crying. It’s Thursday, 4 PM, and I’m at the gate of Black Rock City. This has been 9 years in the making for me. I learned about Burning Man when I was 20. The art, the desert, the love, the people…someone mentioned all of these things when I was trying to figure out where I
Death to the Lone Wolf
| I remember the exact moment I realized how alone I was.<br><br>It was a weeknight evening around sometime in 2015. I sat in my apartment after a full day of work, surrounded by the trappings of what society would call "success" – the career, the independence, the carefully cura
Finding God through Grief
In times of diminishing light, focusing on the core longings and the source of all longings and giving them a voice is how we find God. We have all these superficial ones and underneath that is a deeper longing for union with the cosmos, which happens in times of crisis. Acknowle
Free Your Parents
| Reader,<br><br>This past Saturday, I had my first peyote ceremony. It was deep, exhausting, and opening in multiple ways. I'm still recovering from it.<br><br>But one of the stories from the ceremony happened towards the end of it, when the man who blessed me with rose water ca
Hypothetical Biography
Context: I have been thinking of writing a book about some of my past and how I've come to be who I am. This is a start towards that. Enjoy.
Love Codes
| Happy Friday. I hope the sun is shining where you're at. It's definitely shining here, and it's been nice to see people out and about after another long winter.<br><br>As I'm reminiscing about this past winter, I'm thinking of my divorce being one of the bigger points. Yes, I w
Love and Separation
I officially filed for divorce a week ago. After not seeing my ex-wife for almost a year, we sat in a car together as I drove us off island to a courthouse, ten forms tucked away somewhere in one of our backpacks.
Missoula
It’s 3 AM on Thursday. I haven’t slept enough, or at all. But there’s this energy inside of me, it’s a mix of anxiety and excitement. I’ve been back from backpacking for a while, and I’ve been working pretty hard for the last few weeks. But, there’s been this restlessness, this i
Steven
I’ve been feeling the tension of the world more and more.
Noia
Everyone has heard of “_paranoia_” — the irrational belief that the world is out to get you.
Older vs Elder
A few weeks back, I spent a week at an off grid primitive skills gathering. It was quite a profound time learning new skills that my ancestors knew but I don't at the base of epic mountains on one of the most gorgeous, clearest lakes in BC. I spent most of time with elders, suppo
Persistence
I have spent almost a decade of my life pursuing knowledge, mentors, and any help, in any form, that I can get. I wanted — no, needed — to get out of my head and break out of the conditions that I had been brought up with. As alluded in many of my posts here, the person I am now
Personal Agency
I worked on my book for more than a year. It was a lifelong dream made real. I knew how I would start it and what I would write about.
Separation is an Illusion
There's a wound so deep in the collective that most of us don't even know that we're bleeding.
Slow Down
A lot of us are wanting to tap back into ancient wisdom and ways of being. Medicine ceremony and medicine tourism is becoming more and more mainstream every day. People are asking each other when was the last time they sat in a ceremony.
Steven
I know a man. He lives in the forest. How he got there, or how long he’s lived there, no one knows. He doesn’t speak. He’s very different from me, but at the same time, it feels like he’s a part of me. He’s wild, a little crazy, and can be inappropriate, most of the time. I call
The Surviving Child
The Deeper Path: When Fear Leads to Freedom
Have you ever found yourself staring at your screen at 11 PM, another late night at the office, wondering “Is this it?”
The Gold in the Cracks
| I spent the last week at an off grid primitive skills gathering. It was quite a profound time learning new skills that my ancestors knew but I don't at the base of epic mountains on one of the most gorgeous, clearest lakes in BC. I spent most of time with elders, supporting my
The Lie I Lived With
| You've been getting my emails about relationships and purpose for a while now. Today, I want to share something different - the story that shaped everything I teach.<br><br>It's about a lie I told for over a decade. A lie that cost me half of my life. And ultimately, the thing
The Myth of Normal
Being normal is a bullshit idea that keeps people from living their authentic lives.
The Paths
I made an IG reel a month ago talking about one of my Point of Views on life and the work I do. [Here's the reel if you missed it](https://www.instagram.com/p/DI13P0cP8rK/).
The Portal You're Avoiding
I had an alignment call with a potential client a few days ago. He reached out looking for support because he was feeling overwhelmed and scared.
The Prison of Comfort
What keeps us trapped in lives that look good on paper but feel empty inside? In a word: fear.
Three Levels of Loving
Four years ago, in the wreckage of my first separation from my then-wife, I had a brutal realization—I didn’t know shit about love.
What's a Good Life?
| What's a good life? Do you know what it is for you?<br><br>For me, a good life isn't measured in comfort, but in courage.<br><br>It's a life that, when reflected upon in your final moments, fills you with pride rather than regret. The kind of life that you'd watch a movie or re
Whose Life Are You Living?
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Your Emotions are Your Initations
I'm returning from a deep, potent tree diet with my brother Jordan Mockingbird. There were 9 people in total, and I'm still integrating back into society. I'll share more about that journey as I integrate that more. I wanted to share today about emotions, and the importance of fe
Letter from Terminal M (Part 2)
The One Thing You Need
Letter from Terminal M
I'm sitting in Terminal M, Vancouver International. In a few minutes, for the first time in 20 years, I'll be on a plane departing North America. My destination isn’t somewhere in Europe or Southeast Asia. In typical Ish fashion, my first excursion out of this continent is somewh
Minimalism
_“One of the advantages of being born in an affluent society is that if one has any intelligence at all, one will realize that having more and more won’t solve the problem, and happiness does not lie in possessions, or even relationships: The answer lies within ourselves. If we c
Neurosis
Friday. 8:57 AM
The Wild and the Quiet
If you have known me for a while, you know that I am a pacifist. I abhor getting into arguments and am not fond of fights. You would know me as a yogi, a meditator, a Qi Gong practitioner, a stylish hippie, and as someone who authentically believes in empathy, peace, and love as
Life Lessons from the Canadian Wilderness
I went camping in the backcountry last week with two friends. On the second day, I decided to go off on my own. After hiking for 11 hours, I realized that I had taken a wrong turn somewhere. Growing up in LA, my trekking skills must not have been up to par. By the time of my real
Alone
“We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and—in spite of True Romance magazines—we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely—at least, not all the time—but essentially, and finally, alone. Thi
Mountaineering
"What if I don't know if I can became always I just did?"
Struck by Your Awe
I haven't written for a while. It's not because I haven't had much to write about. Quite the contrary, in fact. So much has happened that it feels like I haven't had the time to properly catch up, and hence the lack of time to sit, process, and deliver.
Brad
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Jassy
One morning when I was very young, I woke up from a vivid dream. I was in a lush, green forest, lying down. There were giant trees hovering over me, and I was touching the green grass with my bare feet. There was not a single sight or sound of another life around me. In this beau