Imago Dialogue — Roles & Responsibilities
A structured relational communication practice that creates safety for both partners to be fully heard and fully present.
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The Sender
The one sharing their experience.
- Use "I" statements — speak from your own experience, not about your partner's behaviour
- Completely avoid shaming, blaming, criticizing, or belittling
- Speak 1–2 sentences at a time to avoid overwhelming your partner
- Stay on one topic — don't pile multiple issues into the same dialogue
- Listen to your partner's full mirroring attempt without interrupting
- Check the mirror for accuracy — confirm if it landed, be honest if it didn't
- Resend anything they missed, or send it more clearly
- Avoid repeating yourself when your partner has already mirrored accurately
- Don't take it personally if they miss a key point — simply resend and help them understand
- Don't take it personally if they raise their hand when their memory gets full
- Appreciate that your partner is listening, mirroring, validating, and trying to empathize
The Receiver
The one holding space.
- Bring your full awareness and focus to your partner
- Bring a sense of availability, openness, and presence
- Stay curious the entire time
- Suspend your own beliefs and opinions temporarily
- Avoid reactivity — including facial expressions like eye rolling
- Be willing to allow your partner to have a view of the world different from your own
- Understand that this moment is entirely about your partner
- Contain your own reactivity, tone, and nuance
- Attune to your partner — try to feel what it's like to walk in their shoes
- Mirror accurately and confirm they feel understood
- Gently raise your hand when you need your partner to pause so you can mirror without getting overloaded
- Ask "Is there more?" to invite deeper exploration
- Validate your partner's reality — let them know they make sense