Dream Journal Reflections on Friendships and Self-Esteem

Highlights

Dream Journal. Had a few dreams last night. Don't remember all of them, but here's one. Two involved Lauren. First one was we were at this gathering, a dimly lit function at nighttime, almost like in a restaurant on an island or under a boat or underwater.

We're dressing up, dressed up fancily. We got this invitation. We don't know what it's for. And Lauren is feeling like she's not being appreciated or adored by her friends. It's primarily her friends who are also there.

They go into the dinner party and people start talking to her, commenting her, telling her all the ways that they have improved, that all the ways she's improved their lives and she begins to realize that she's a powerful woman who actually has done a lot of things in this life for other people and she's a cool person who's lived a good life.

And she tells me that, wow, I'm actually, I've lived a big life. I'm like, yes, you have. Dream complete. That dream was followed up by another dream where I was feeling very low self-conscious or low self-confidence where we were somewhere and

I don't remember that much of it. I just remember feeling a loss of self-esteem. I got woken up by a fucking loud ass PA system. And the second round of sleep. We are gathering again. Function. It's time.

We're somewhere in Komox Valley, surrounded by a lot of our friends. We're hanging out, and then at some point, my friend Leah comes over, and there are a lot of people. Some people I don't even know. Some people are playing with other people's kids. It's a very multi-generational hangout.

And we're in a circle of friends. Leah comes over, she starts talking about mushrooms and not ever doing mushrooms ever again. And I'm like, well, I'll take it. Next time I go to Peru, I'll take some mushrooms with me. And she gives them to me. She tells me that, you know, when I give this to you, I'll never be able to talk to you ever again.

I was like, how come? She's like, I'm leaving this community and I'm leaving everyone here. I'm feeling sad. I've never found anyone here. I thought, I really liked you, but you don't like me.

And then she kind of goes away. And then I look at Lauren and she's starting to feel jealous. She's like, you never told me about this woman. I'm like, there was nothing to share. I was just, when I was in my feminine cleanse, she was a person who I, who really expressed a lot of interest in spending time with me. And I wasn't because I was in my feminine cleanse. I didn't find her attractive.

She's like, you should have told me about this. I'm like, there's nothing to fucking share, chill. Then I go to a restaurant like a very fancy restaurant that we had made a reservation for and literally we're instead of sitting together or side by side or facing each other she sits in front of me facing the same TV so we're both looking in the same direction. I'm like, that's weird and she's eating and I'm eating and that's it.

Um, yeah, that's my drip. ^rwhi959610383