Devotion to Cosmic Beauty and the Path of Grief

Highlights

Devotion to the cosmic in the sense of, in the terminology of Apasana, is like seeing things the way they actually are. And being, you know, I'm touching all the bases here, being elite, the Libra, as we know, is like, there's like a sensitivity and a charge, maybe, to how I feel things that somehow get in the way of that cosmic reality because I lose sight of the I am-ness. Yeah, but and because the Libra, it's balance, you know, it's like the scale, the Libra, it's an air sign, Libra, it's like love. The most artistic, creative, beauty seekers are Libra people. Like we look for beauty and you're looking for beauty and sometimes we live in a world that is cruel and harsh and the beauty isn't as easy to find. So we have to actively seek that out. Like actively, consciously look for the light in the dark. Find ways to bring the light and yeah, Vipassana, you know, like the Metta, the loving kindness where you are the one who radiates all the love and kindness to others. It's also unconditional.

And also like finding like, I feel like ritual, you know, like I think you mentioned that one piece about having that ritual that helped you. Did you distance yourself from your microphone a little bit? No, I'm here. I think you might have or I was hearing some echo. Oh, okay. Can you hear me now? Yeah. Yeah. The other piece was like ritual, if you can, like, you know, and ritual is active creation and ritual is an intentional connection and ritual is also a way to complete things. Like you mentioned that one coach of yours helped you create a ritual to let go of that one piece of your past last year. So I wonder if there is a ritual that you could create that would help you, one, let go of this connection with Amanda Lynn and this whole past and bury it with peace for good and also creating a ritual that helps you direct your life in a way that feels generative and active where you get to create because you are a creator. You create art. You create sustainable beauty. You create so much out there. Can you create yourself? Can you create that relationship with the one that's within you?

Yeah, yeah. And I can feel just with what's gone on in my life or how I've responded to the things that have gone on in my life, specifically the grief around Amanda and noticing, like, I think I did right by Ruby. I think my soul contract with her and the way that I've held the grief and still functioned is indicative that I can also do that with my grief around Amanda Lynn. And I've actually been trying to, my coach and I have been, coach therapist have been formulating some ritual around Amanda Lynn and then, but we, it's still a loose thread. Yeah, because I think there is something tangible there that it is about creating that felt sense in the body that, and the path that is, the pathway that is, the pathway is within my system that it will remind me that, no, that part, you've grieved that, you've let that go, you've mourned the loss and you've healed. That is the reality. It's not saying I'm not ever going to feel things, but it's saying that I'm not going to let it derail me on the couch at Cajun's and think about going and buying a bottle of whiskey.

Yeah. Like those feelings are actually the gateway to your biggest creation. Your best art, your songs, your life comes out of the points of heartbreak and grief. But if we choose to, if we're conscious, that's what it does. But if we're unconscious, then we reach for the bottle, porn, the next dating app, just something to check out because it's so hard. But yeah, man, like the grief is the way through. Yeah. This is a big, big like medicine right now. It feels like poison, but we can, this is what we can use to like transmute our whole lives with support, with connection to source, with connection to the one.

Yeah, yeah. Thanks, man. Um, yeah, I want to acknowledge, and I said this to you the last time I think we connected, acknowledging the balance of our friendship right now is weighted to you counseling me. And I want to acknowledge that I'm looking forward to the time when it's a little, there's a little more balance and a little more fun of just like, hey bro, what's up? Yeah. There you go. Yeah, man. All in due time, brother. All in due time.

Yeah. Do you have like five minutes to do just this little practice that I picked up a few weeks back? Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So yeah, I don't need to give any direction. This is a fascinating one. It's from a Christian mystic named something McLaren. I can't remember his first name right now. So this has been part of my healing around my spiritual trauma has been going into the Christian mystics and trying to be comfortable with some of their terms for things based on, you know, the trauma of my Christian upbringing. So this has some very biblical imagery in it. And I'm just acknowledging that.

So what it is, I'll just speak for a second and then let's just breathe together silently for like a couple of minutes and I'll look at the clock. It's 5:17. So at 5:21, we'll stop it. And yeah. Okay. So this is the start of it. Be still and know that I am here. Be still and know that I am here. Be still and know that I am here. Be still and know that I am. Be still and know that I am. Be still and know. Be still. And then after this, just a couple of minutes of noticing your breath. Be still. Be. Be still.

Okay, man, that feels about right. I liked the cadence of that. Say that again. I like the cadence of that. It went from be still and know that I'm here to just be. But I like the way it moved. Just got simpler and simpler and simpler and also like deeper and deeper and deeper. Yeah, I noticed for myself the expansiveness that as it gets more simple, it gets bigger. Yeah, that was really, really beautiful, man. Thank you for sharing that.

Yeah, and I think it's I think that that is a verse from Genesis. It's part of the creation story. Okay. Wow. Wow. Yeah. What's your weekend looking like? I came to Vancouver yesterday. I'm here for another day. ^rwhi899576909