No More Mr. Nice Guy

Highlights

All significant behavior patterns are the sum of many, much smaller behavior patterns. The most effective way to change a behavior is to change its smallest elements. (via) ^rwhi814446927

Good sex consists of two people taking full responsibility for meeting their own needs. It has no goal. It is free of agendas and expectations. Rather than being a performance, it is an unfolding of sexual energy. (via) ^rwhi814446928

As you look at the reality of your life, ask yourself two questions: First, are you creating the life you want? Second, if not, why not? (via) ^rwhi814446929

Rather than facing these fears — real or imagined — Nice Guys typically settle for operating at a fraction of their full potential. (via) ^rwhi814446930

The result of this distorted self-image is an emotional and cognitive glass ceiling. This invisible lid prevents Nice Guys from being all they can be. If they do try to rise above it, they bump their heads and tumble down to more familiar territory. (via) ^rwhi814446931

The first is that they tend to recreate familiar, yet dissatisfying relationships. They find partners who will help them create the same dysfunctional kinds of relationships they experienced as children. These men then frequently see themselves as being victims to the dysfunction of their partners. Nice Guys have a difficult time seeing that they were attracted to these people for a reason. Second, Nice Guys rarely experience the kind of relationships they want because they are bad enders. When a healthy person would pack up and move on, Nice Guys just keep doing more of the same, hoping that something will miraculously change. (via) ^rwhi814446932

1If it frightens you, do it.   2Don't settle. Every time you settle, you get exactly what you settled for.   3Put yourself first.   4No matter what happens, you will handle it.   5Whatever you do, do it 100%.   6If you do what you have always done, you will get what you have always got.   7You are the only person on this planet responsible for your needs, wants, and happiness.   8Ask for what you want.   9If what you are doing isn't working, try something different. 10Be clear and direct. 11Learn to say "no." 12Don't make excuses. 13If you are an adult, you are old enough to make your own rules. 14Let people help you. 15Be honest with yourself. 16Do not let anyone treat you badly. No one. Ever. 17Remove yourself from a bad situation instead of waiting for the situation to change. 18Don't tolerate the intolerable — ever. 19Stop blaming. Victims never succeed. 20Live with integrity. Decide what feels right to you, then do it. 21Accept the consequences of your actions. 22Be good to yourself. 23Think "abundance." 24Face difficult situations and conflict head on. 25Don't do anything in secret. 26Do it now. 27Be willing to let go of what you have so you can get what you want. 28Have fun. If you are not having fun, something is wrong. 29Give yourself room to fail. There are no mistakes, only learning experiences. 30Control is an illusion. Let go; let life happen. (via) ^rwhi814446934