For the longest time, I was mired in an inner conflict. I spent most of my life questioning how this conflict even came about for me, since it’s not something I actively created within myself.
Through the lens of Sexual Polarity and Alchemy, I’m realizing that I’m just the next thread in the collective conflict.
I used to be afraid of the Masculine. To me, it was toxic control, manipulation, and uncontrolled rage. And if I leaned in, I’d perpetuate the same qualities.
As I got into men’s work, I realized that I didn’t have to be afraid of the Masculine, because the qualities that I was attributing to it weren’t universally Masculine and that those weren’t the only ones. I was exposed to vulnerability, loving support, and being seen.
As I began to embody my Masculinity with trust, I noticed my fear of the Feminine kicking in. Feeling of distrust, manipulation, lack of integrity began to pervade my life, and I attributed that to women.
So, I went on a Feminine Cleanse for 2 and a half years.
No intimate connection with women.
No physicality.
No extended gaze.
No smile.
Through that, I began to discover that there was a Feminine within me!
With some of the same qualities that I was so afraid of in them.
Through Personal Alchemy and lots of experiences, I began to tap into the Feminine Gold within me.
Unconditional Love.
Being in the Flow.
The Spontaneity.
At first, I was surprised at the revelation that there was a Feminine within me!
Only through meditation and leaning into the unknown have I come to understand that the whole dynamic between the two has been warped by something that doesn’t want us to know the Truth.
That there is no separation.
One can’t exist without the other. It’s energetically impossible.
One governs the other.
The other guides the one.
We get to experience it in our individual bodies.
Once we understand the myth of separation, we tap into the Knowing that we are not separate either.
It’s all one.
This journey is an experience of the ride back home.